Get My Arse in Gear
Those who pay attention to other facets of my life are familiar with a dissatisfaction I’ve had as of late – a dissatisfaction that grew to a head a few weeks ago on Episode 139 of my podcast. Having taken two weeks off in a row, with no time to watch movies or write reviews of the movies I had seen, I voiced the possibility of shutting things down. My logic was that I hadn’t really had time to maintain the site, and without the site there’s no point in continuing the show. The site is responsible for what little ad revenue and the gracious donations we receive. Much like when we were at Cinema Blend, the show itself makes no money. It’s just a fun thing we do to talk about movies.
In my dissatisfaction, I asked for people to sound off – were we done doing the show, continuing only to #250 (a nice clean number for a break) or should we carry on. The response was almost unanimous: our fans like the show and wished to see us continue, even if that meant cutting back on what we did or getting rid of the site. (Again, getting rid of the site isn’t an option – it’s the only real way to bring in new listeners and support the show.) The response filled me with a bit of a charge though, and so the show and my life as a film critic got a reprieve (interestingly enough, the one response we got that suggested we hang it up if we weren’t interested anymore came after we recorded the following episode, where we announced we were sticking around and which I felt was a much better show).
Since we made that decision, the site has received little update, as I expected. One review, one “write your own review,” an editorial, and two of Margaret’s Trailer Park articles, and that’s about it. In a period of three weeks, that’s not a lot. I’ve been questioning how to resolve that. Now, leave it to someone I don’t know to give me the kick in the pants I need.
On his blog, John Scalzi writes today about writing. The post is a response to questions he gets about where his motivation and energy come for writing, sent by people who, like me, have a job and a family and have trouble finding time and energy to write. I knew from the get-go this was a post that was either going to motivate me or make me want to jump off a bridge (or, more realistically, grab a stiff drink).
Scalzi writes:
So: Do you want to write or don’t you? If your answer is “yes, but,” then here’s a small editing tip: what you’re doing is using six letters and two words to say “no.” And that’s fine. Just don’t kid yourself as to what “yes, but” means.
So, yeah, he has a point. Nothing says I have to be a writer, despite the fact that I’ve defined myself as one for almost a decade now. I’m a writer because I want to be, even if I don’t say I have time to do it like I want. His counter to that is that, if you can find time to pen 250 words a day – which isn’t a large task (I’m at over 500 words at this point in this post) – you can write a novel within a year. It’s a good point, and perhaps the aforementioned swift kick I needed.
The closing of Scalzi’s article is a killing blow to any excuse I’ve ever made:
But if you want to be a writer, than be a writer, for god’s sake. It’s not that hard, and it doesn’t require that much effort on a day to day basis. Find the time or make the time. Sit down, shut up and put your words together. Work at it and keep working at it. And if you need inspiration, think of yourself on your deathbed saying “well, at least I watched a lot of TV.” If saying such a thing as your life ebbs away fills you with existential horror, well, then. I think you know what to do.
When I left my previous career, it was bent on having a family and doing something that meant something – that made a difference. It was done with the motivation that nobody ever dies wishing they spent more time at the office or sold one more microphone. At least what I do now makes a difference and gives me time for family. Until now, what I felt like it hadn’t given me a lot of time for was writing. But I do watch TV. I do play video games. And, as evidenced by this post, I can write almost a thousand words within fifteen minutes. Somewhere in there is the message. It just took Scalzi to put the pieces together.
As I tell my students: I’m not justifying… I’m just making excuses. Clearly, it’s time those excuses stop or I face the facts that they are nothing more than just excuses.